A silent retreat puts everyone in a solo situation, even if you do not go alone.
In November, I embarked on a silent retreat with a friend. For 36 hours she and I exchanged no conversation and shared just the occasional glance. The only time we spent together was when the group was in the studio for meditation and yoga.
It's not solo travel in the usual sense but, given that I typically travel solo and connect with many people, sometimes for a few days or more, this actually felt more solo than most travel I've done.
This silent retreat was a life-changing travel experience. It was just over an hour from my home in Toronto.
We arrived at the Rising Spirit Bed & Breakfast mid-afternoon on a Friday. We were not silent at this point. It was time to find my room, unpack, explore the grounds, and find out where everything was located in the house.
Our room was on the main floor and had 3 beds, a gas fireplace, and a nook where a 4th bed could go. It was set up with a cozy chair and foot stool.
Supper Friday evening was, again, not silent. We had a wonderful meal of soup, a main dish, and dessert. Food allergies were well accommodated. After our meal we went to the studio, which was in a separate building. We received our instructions about the weekend and then reached the moment at which we all went silent. We then had our first meditation.
To be clear, our guide for the weekend was not silent through the meditations. She spoke quietly, guiding us through them.
Other than that, we were silent.
During yoga, we were silent.
As we moved to the house, we were silent.
Throughout the grounds, we were silent.
As we enjoyed the incredible massage chairs, we were silent.
There were moments when communication did happen, but they were very limited, and they were done silently.
Even as we walked through the house, past people, we typically had our eyes down as there is no social obligation during a silent retreat.
The obligation is to yourself to feel the impact of the silence, to see what it would do.
The Silent Retreat Itinerary
As mentioned, we started silence the first evening, Friday night, and it was held for 36 hours, until Sunday morning. You can click here to download the itinerary of our weekend.
Saturday morning began with breakfast, followed by meditation, yoga, lunch, meditation, dinner, then group Reiki. Sunday morning included breakfast followed by meditation, and then the breaking of the silence and a discussion of the impact.
That's the lay of the land.
In that time, there were so many hours to spend by oneself. There were crafts and coloring books and rocks for painting. There were the grounds to wander and sunrises to see. I actually brought some knitting with me. I have not knit for years, and I don't expect to ever use what I knit there. It was a meditative activity for me.
Certainly, there was journaling. I have never been a person who journals, and I journaled a lot. The first night of journaling, I wrote, “I wonder if I'm mourning?”. The next day I put down, “What could I be mourning?” At the final meditation on love, I learned what I was mourning.
The silent retreat weekend was revealing and relaxing. It seemed that all the stress had left my body and I finally saw the value of meditation.
I left with a feeling that something had changed. And indeed, something had.
Life-changing Impact
I'm a driven person. It's just the way I am.
Leading Solo Traveler through the many changes in travel over 15 years takes drive. Being the volunteer executive director of a non-profit started during the pandemic takes drive. This drive also causes stress.
At the retreat I learned that drive can happen in calm.
I left feeling equally driven, but without the same stress level. I returned home feeling a real difference. I wanted the weekend continued the next day. I did not want to leave behind what I had learned, what I had experienced, and the calm that I felt.
I have meditated every day since, with the exception of one day when I had to get on a flight at 7:15 in the morning, which required being up around 3:00 am. Otherwise, I've meditated every morning. After a few days I added sun salutations to the practice. Later more yoga was added.
So I now have about 40 minutes of ritual every morning. I actually go to bed looking forward to my morning meditation. This is something the very impatient me never expected to happen.
This silent retreat changed my life.
